I've been keeping a book of funny things that my kids have said and done and things that my sweet husband and I never thought we'd find ourselves saying. Of course, life comes at us so fast that my little book is still little even though I could have filled a bookcase with stories if I had written them all down. Thought I'd share a few things from my book today, and I hope that you'll share a few of your funniest with me!

My four year-old pumpkin confronted me one day with, "Did you know the devil's name is Robert?" "I don't think so," I said. "I've never heard that." "Yeah, Sissy told me!" Ahhhh....then it must be so.....

Same four year-old pumpkin, different day, announced, "I don't feel good. I feel like there's a bear in my life!!!!" That was really a bad day. I'm certain that there was a bear lurking around our home!

Our nine year-old sweetie was stunned one day after we confronted her 4 year-old sister about lying. "Why is she lying so much? I used to lie, but now I'm almost finished with lying!"

When we moved into our current home, our six year-old must have thought that our front door was something special. We found her early one morning camped out on a blanket in the foyer, looking out the window. What in the world was she doing up so early? She was a little disappointed by this point. She had been waiting for Peter Pan.

Our two girls had not been around little boys very much by the time their little brother was born. Certainly not little boys who were diaperless and getting changed every couple of hours. Soon they got used to having a little brother, but some things were still pretty confusing. Our middle girl asked one day, "Why does G have that little tube?" My husband objected not to the word "tube"...only to the word....."little".

Our only child at one year was just the right level to teethe on our coffee table, and we often found ourselves saying things like, "Stop chewing on the table." What a different life from the one we had been living.

Some of the funniest things have been said when our kiddos have just started to put language together or to use words that we didn't even know that they knew. I walked into the kitchen this morning to hear our newly two year-old telling his five year-old sister, "I have to make poo poo, actually."

All three of our children have very different personalities. The older two, in particular. One is an adventurous sort, never afraid to try something new. The other is more cautious and analytical. At Disney World, one of my children and I saw Chip and Dale, the chipmunks. I asked her quickly if she wanted to go see them before other people saw them and the line got too long. The four year-old with me decided to pass but did have a question about them, "Do they carry diseases?"

Also at Disney World the same four year-old girl entered Cinderella's castle with a wide-eyed anticipation of seeing Cinderella herself. As we came to the top of the staircase and entered the dining room, she asked, "Am I dreaming?" Then to Mommy, "I'm wishing, no I'm really dreaming!" And they say that children have the most fun at Disney.

As much as she has struggled with all the changes that have come since our youngest was born, our middle child loves her brother like crazy. One day, when thinking about her life as a grown-up, she asked, "Can I have him for a kid? Can he be mine?" At other times, she refers to him as "Prince Charmy". I agree. He is charmy, indeed.

I so wish that I had all of the stories and sayings that have come our way through these three blessings in our lives. This little list really doesn't do the subject justice. However, I do have one absolute favorite that I'll leave you with. Same analytical four year-old quizzed me one day...."Did you know that a toot is a message?" "A message?" "Yes, you know, it means that you have to go to the bathroom."

They Just Crack Me Up...

My kids just crack me up. Okay, most of the time. But, for instance, not this morning in church. Yet, that's a story for another time.

Back to when they do crack me up, and I'm only looking serious on the outside. Inside, I am rolling on the floor laughing at the hilarity of it all.

Friday night, we took the kiddos out to eat Mexican. Food. In a restaurant. That alone is funny, huh? Funny because I know that anytime we go anywhere were're going to have to visit the bathroom at least once. Usually for a reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaally long time. (Maybe I should have brought the chips and salsa in there with me, but....gross.) Also, keeping clothing even somewhat clean is a real challenge. The little guy has taken to using his shirt as a napkin, and this works especially well with cheesy queso, no?

Well, Friday was funny to me because after the usual haggling about what we don't want from the nino menu (Would you like a taco? I don't like tacos. How about nuggets? No, I don't want their nuggets. You like enchiladas; how about a cheese enchilada? Okaaaaaaaaaay........), abandoning what was ordered and begging for a tortilla (even though that's what all that cheese is wrapped in or her plate), I heard that phrase that I hate to hear when we are in public...."I have to go to the bathroom really bad."

Once there, (oooooh, I like those sinks, Mama! Aren't they neat?) we completed our ritual layering of the toilet paper on the seat, while the child in question did the ritual potty dance and song. You know how the song goes...."Hurry, Mama! I gotta' go right now! Hurry! I can't hoooooooolllllllllllllllld it! Hurry, Mama!" Repeat until layering is complete or until toilet paper that has been knocked off during the potty dance has been carefully replaced. All of this is sort of funny when I think about it later, but in a normal sort of way. We've had the chance to replay this scene all over the Gulf coast, so....funny, but....normal.

You know how when you are really tired, it takes just a little to tickle your funny bone, and before you know it you are snorting and barely able to catch your breath? This was that kind of funny to me. Only I wasn't tired. From lack of sleep. Any more than normal. I think I was just worn out, tired. From the dance and the song and the layering and the waiting. All along the Gulf coast. You know, that kind of tired.

So, my Love was sitting and doing her thing, and I was do the prodding. ("Are you finished?" Rolling up some toilet paper and handing it to her. "Come on, sweetie. Daddy and the others are waiting for us. Hurry up." "But I have to go poo poo!") I looked around and noticed the ads on the back of the bathroom door... She noticed them, too. "Look, Mama! Which of those things is the cutest to you?" "Ummmm..... " "I think the one with the baby is the cutest, don't you?"

After a little conversation and a little more prodding, I went out of the stall to wash my hands. Thought maybe she'd hurry a little faster. I washed. I waited. I prodded. I waited. By now, we're working on 15 minutes in the bathroom. Where was that salsa?

Tried to go back into the stall and discoved that she had locked the stall. I think that means that she was off of the potty, but now she is sitting back down again. You know what happens when you get of off a toilet papered seat...the toilet paper gets knocked all over the place and leaves the potty seat bare and teaming with germs. Germs that I now assume are glued to my little girl's cheeks.

After I convince her to get off the potty again and unlock the door, I stand, once again, in the inner sanctum, prodding and reading the ads on the back of the door. My love is an excellent reader and doesn't miss a beat. "Look, Mom! It says, free birthday parties!" The picture shows a woman holding a martini and some sort of club scene in the background. Not your typical early childhood birthday party. Now, she's finally off of the potty, and she's on the second out of five or six wipes. She's reading while wiping. "Look, that one says, 'Share love and life.' That's nice, isn't it?" Now she's done, and I'm anticipating finding my husband and other kiddos waiting for us in the car. Now she's pulling herself together, and we're about to go out to wash our hands in the neat sinks. I unlock the door to the stall. Egg.........don.....something..needed. What's that word after egg, Mom?" Frustrated and ready to GET. OUT. OF. THE. BATHROOM, I tell her, "Donor, Sweetheart. That word is donor." We hurry out of the bathroom before she gets to the next sentence which begins with "Surrogate".

Some days. The bright eyes, innocence, and ever-questioning mind of my middle child....I just have to laugh.

Two More Memories of the Season

How silly of me! These are two of the best pictures of the season!

Just a note about that Santa pic....the little one has be obsessed all through the Season with Santa. Every time we'd get in the car, "Can I see Santa?!!!!" He never seemed to get nervous...even when we walked right up to the big guy in the suit. As we arranged his sisters, he was saying, "Hi, Santa!Hi, Santa!Hi, Santa!Hi, Santa!" But when I put him on that knee....well, you can see. He was highly insulted.

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Many Christmas blessings to your family from ours!

The Heart of a Child/ The Heart of the Mama

Holding each of my children moments after they were born, watching my sweet angels as they sleep, thinking about the funny things they said today, ("God, please bless the turkey, and make it CLEAN."), cuddling up with them and a good story, hearing that joyful laughter, (squeals, really) nuzzling their little necks and faces, sharing eskimo kisses and puppy dog kisses....these are the best parts of being a mama.

The worst part? Hmmmm.......let me think......In a word--discipline. Yeah, without question, that's it.

When each of my children was born I could only think about how perfect they were, what a gift each of them was, how over the moon I felt. Of course, in that honeymoon phase, I could never envision (even though I knew that it would come) the time when that little cherub would need any correction or---dare I say it---the naughty spot? (GASP!!!!!) Oh, it hurt my heart to think of that!

Yet, time marches on, and each of my three little angels eventually reached the point in his or her life when to do as told was just too much to bear. And each time that this has happened, my initial reaction has been a timid, "Can this really be?" kind of reaction. "Maybe that was a mistake; I'm sure my little darling didn't mean that....." But before long, the cherub would clear it up for me, and I'd be faced with the daily challenge of disciplining her (or him).

Honestly, disciplining a two year-old is easier to me than disciplining an older child who has the power of reasoning --because sometimes their reasoning is just so......childlike! ("Mom, why do I need to keep my room clean? I mean, it's MY room.")

The Family That Plays Together.....

I am a busy mom. I hate to say that and hate to feel that because when I am busy (which is a lot of the time), I often find myself not being able to stay present in the moment. I find myself looking at my watch--or at least thinking, "Okay, I have this many more minutes to read this story" or --what's worse--not sitting down to read the story or take the little one outside to cut the grass or walk the dog. How many times have I said, "We'll do it when you get up from your nap," or "After I load the dishwasher...., " or just, "Later...."?

Which one of my children, when getting to spend some fun time with Mama will mess it up through sassy talk or direct disobedience? (Okay, sometimes...but rarely.) Lately, I must say, discipline has been much more difficult with all three of my kiddos. By difficult I mean that I feel like I am walking through drying cement. Even the little one, who is usually pretty easy, has been directly defying me time after time. What is it?

I'm sure that there are several factors at play (no pun intended), but I cannot get away from the fact that there has been too much work and not enough play in our family. Too many "have-to's" and not enough time to laugh or just sit or read bedtime stories about Frances the Badger or bend down and look at the grass and leaves. Not enough time to collect acorns and leave them on the stepping stone for our squirrel and not enough time to have each of my children help me cook dinner and talk about when I was a little girl instead of rushing them through their "have to's" of setting the table and clearing it after we eat.

Today there were dishes in the sink, and there was laundry to be folded. But my boy and I stopped and played ball in the foyer. Over and over we threw the ball and giggled when we didn't catch it--or when we did. Over and over, my boy said , "Mommy,--you--are--playing--wif--me! Mommy,--you--are--playing--wif--me!"

My Kids Are Away, Let's Go Out To Play?

My kiddos are all with their grandparents for a long weekend. It's an exciting time to spend with my husband, but there is a little tingle in the bottom of my heart. I spend every day with my children....in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. You'd think that for three or four days, I would be doing the Mommy Boogie all up and down the street just because I could. You'd think that we'd be dancing 'til dawn without a care in the world. You'd think, wouldn't you?

When I was a teacher and Christmas vacation rolled around, I would come home and honestly not think about what my students were doing until time to go back to school. There was no tingle in my heart, no nostalgia about the last things that they said to me, no holding their favorite things to my cheek. To me, they got on the school bus that led them away from school and ceased to be for the next two weeks. I was a good teacher, but I was their teacher.

Now I am a mom. MOM. That is who I am now, and no matter what else I ever do in my life (and I do hope that I still have things to contribute to life on our planet), there will be no greater title than those of Mom and wife. And so while my kiddos are away, of course I wonder what they are doing and who they are with at the moment and if they miss their mama. I've even been known to cuddle a teddy bear or deeply sniff their a sweater or two... It thrills my heart when my oldest calls several times a day just to say, "Hi. Whatcha' doin'?"