thoughts on daily life within our family of SIX....each child in her own phase of childhood....
Showing posts with label family time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family time. Show all posts

Monday, January 28, 2008

Blessed


Matthew 6:8 Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.

We have three children and a nine year age spread. Although we didn't necessarily plan it that way, it's worked out nicely in so many ways because each baby got to be the baby for a good long time. Until each child was no longer a baby, really (except in Mama's mind). I've loved the time that I have had with each little one; I've had the chance to create unique and individual relationships with each child, and I wouldn't trade that.

Sometimes, though, I think that part of the struggle that my middle child has with her love/jealousy toward her little brother could have been averted if they had been closer together in age. Perhaps she would have been more open to that change and been less resentful over the sudden appearance of this little guy who suddenly sucked up her spotlight (in her eyes). Since his arrival, she's loved him, but in a "let me poke you in the cheek a thousand times, and then I'll move on to your legs" kind of way.

Little brother has always been crazy about the big sister. Generally, she's been a roughhousing, silly kind of girl that can make him laugh at the drop of a hat. He loves her. They play together, and she directs the play (he likes it that way, and she MOST DEFINITELY likes it that way). He is her charge, and there is no struggle between them over this. Usually.

The little guy has sometimes been apprehensive about middle sister's presence, however. If she comes running up to him with a smile on her face, sometimes he puts on a defensive stance like he knows something bad is about to happen. Smart boy.

Over the past two weeks, however, I have seen a bit of a miracle happening before my very eyes. I didn't even really know that it was something that I wished for, so I definitely was not praying for it. Some days, my main hope and prayer was that my children wouldn't hit each other too hard or say something to each other that would permanently damage the other. I think that I had gotten away from the vision that I had for my children....before that vision was complicated by competition, sulking, jealousy and temper tantrums. In effect, I could no longer see the forest for the trees.

But,God has great blessings in store for us. Blessings that we cannot even think to ask for.

Over the past two weeks, I have seen my middle child (5) and my youngest child (2) become playmates. They've been spotted playing kitchen--together, playing reindeer--together, sharing toys--together! The baby has been saving things like stickers, saying, "Dis is for Nana." ("Nana" is his name for her.) "Where is Nana? Let's go get Nana." This thrills my heart, and for the first time since the baby was born, I feel like God has spread His comforting Hand on my back and has given me the solace of knowing, "She will be okay."

But more than okay. Blessed. Instead of taking something from her when I delivered my third child, her daddy and I were giving her a gift. She has been given a gift, and her daddy and I have been blessed enough to participate in giving her that gift. We have given her the gift of a playmate, a buddy, a friend. All of this for my tender child who has often seemed to wonder where she fits in and who will choose her to play with.

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

The Family That Plays Together.....


I am a busy mom. I hate to say that and hate to feel that because when I am busy (which is a lot of the time), I often find myself not being able to stay present in the moment. I find myself looking at my watch--or at least thinking, "Okay, I have this many more minutes to read this story" or --what's worse--not sitting down to read the story or take the little one outside to cut the grass or walk the dog. How many times have I said, "We'll do it when you get up from your nap," or "After I load the dishwasher...., " or just, "Later...."?




Which one of my children, when getting to spend some fun time with Mama will mess it up through sassy talk or direct disobedience? (Okay, sometimes...but rarely.) Lately, I must say, discipline has been much more difficult with all three of my kiddos. By difficult I mean that I feel like I am walking through drying cement. Even the little one, who is usually pretty easy, has been directly defying me time after time. What is it?




I'm sure that there are several factors at play (no pun intended), but I cannot get away from the fact that there has been too much work and not enough play in our family. Too many "have-to's" and not enough time to laugh or just sit or read bedtime stories about Frances the Badger or bend down and look at the grass and leaves. Not enough time to collect acorns and leave them on the stepping stone for our squirrel and not enough time to have each of my children help me cook dinner and talk about when I was a little girl instead of rushing them through their "have to's" of setting the table and clearing it after we eat.




Today there were dishes in the sink, and there was laundry to be folded. But my boy and I stopped and played ball in the foyer. Over and over we threw the ball and giggled when we didn't catch it--or when we did. Over and over, my boy said , "Mommy,--you--are--playing--wif--me! Mommy,--you--are--playing--wif--me!"