What Do I Look Like?

Perhaps I haven't mentioned this before, but a true fear of bears runs rampant through my progeny. Any kind of bears. Black bears. Grizzly bears. Polar bears. Generic bears. Most definitely unseen bears.

When my sweet middle girl was 3, we began hearing things from her. She wanted to know for certain that no bear would sneak up on her while walking to the car. As we walked into her dance class one day, she glanced over toward "the woods" and quietly said, "I think there might be a bear in there."

Not too long after that, my husband considered taking a job in Alaska. In all of my googling, I noticed that the words "black bears" cropped up quite a bit. In fact, I e-mailed someone who lived in our prospective town. I asked him about schools, climate, social activities...and bears. He assured me that there was nothing to worry about, only black bears inhabited the island of Ketchikan, no grizzlies. But he did say that a resident should expect to see a black bear on occasion. Like the occasion when he walked into his den to find a bear on his deck...staring straight at him through his sliding glass door. Thank you very much for this information.

May I just tell you something? My beloved would quite possibly have to be hospitalized after an occasion as ordinary as that. We decided not to move to Alaska. This was not the only reason, but it was definitely involved.

Lately, my sweet girl seems to have moved on a bit. She's thinking about raccoons. But my boy.....oh, he's got the bear thing covered for his sister. Yesterday, as I was getting him ready for bed, I turned off the light right before I walked over to the rocking chair where he was sitting. As I walked toward him, he used his quietest, most cautious voice to ask me, "Are you a bay-uh? (bear)"

Last week, he was with me at night as I turned off the lights upstairs and walked downstairs holding his hand. Using that same calm, don't ruffle any bear fur voice, he said, "You not a bay-uh...." Clearly, he was trying to convince himself and settle his own nerves.

What does this tell me? Hmmm.....I haven't had a hair appointment in a while. I'll be scheduling that tomorrow. And, I've slowed a little on the weight loss. Guess I'd better step it up a notch or two. And, for now...Brown Bear, Brown Bear and Goldilocks--you're officially banned from the family library.